Visiting a Syrian Refugee Family

Helping refugees assimilate means helping them pull together all of the pieces of their new lives. Can you imagine the all changes?

This family arrived from Turkey. They had lived in a refugee camp for four years after fleeing Syria. The youngest boy was born in Turkey, he'll be three years old May 1 (Will he like the same toys as my boy did at 3??)

The first month included beginning English class, understanding how the home functions from lights, stoves, and refrigerators. How public transportation works, U.S. currency and grocery shopping in oversized stores. This Syrian family of seven that arrived in January (2017), are full of smiles and have a genuine desire to learn (a fourth) language and get involved in working and new opportunities.

Their duplex home is probably 700 square feet and their front door is five feet from a busy, four lane, south St. Louis street. The front, living room is sparse of decorations, nothing on the walls except one of those mirrored pictures of a mosque. The few couches and end tables were donated. It's very tidy or maybe empty is a better description.

The oldest of the five children is 23 years old. She seemed so excited and curious about my visit. She had a lot of questions and having a common language was our barrier. By the way, Google translate works best in short, simple sentences. For example, "I would like to meet you on Friday." "I will be here at 12:00." Seems to work versus "In order to get your driver's license, you first need to take a written exam." Too many words and a more complicated concept, seems to not translate so well.  I spent several hours using simple words to describe myself and my life, where I was from, refugee work done in the U.S. and Europe, and describing my family as well as showing pictures of my kids.

After several hours of "communicating" I had the privilege of meeting the other children as they came home from school. One by one they extended their hand to me and in heavy accents said: "nice to meet you", each of them had a big smile. When the youngest, an eight year old girl, shook my hand and smiled, a part of my heart began to melt, she's adorable and seemed so happy. She took off her coat and observed me talking to the older three. I felt so honored to be the one in their home. The one trying to be a bridge, a friend. I was amazed at how quickly the afternoon flew by. When I emerged out of their little home, into the bustling traffic, my surroundings seemed a bit surreal. The last four hours could have been spent in another country.

"God bless them in their journey." As I left they said God is with me. I agreed. For all of us, language learning and helping each other grow takes time. Just like a good friendship does.

Today I met a Syrian refugee. I was hoping to meet the entire family: husband, wife, and 5 kids. We think the oldest girl, approximately 23 years old, is actually their niece. I was delivering a Welcome basket to the family and had been told they don't speak English, only Arabic, but that maybe the 23 year old knew a little bit of English.

The Welcome basket had mostly practical items: toothbrushes, hand towels, paper towels, toilet paper, dishwashing soap, laundry detergent, cleaning products including bleach, feminine products. There was a very soft, cozy lavender and white blanket, a "btania" I later translated, my daughter would have loved it. There was also an American flag, not sure yet what that means for this family.

I had texted the Viber number I was given for the family and called several times in the previous days. No answer, no reply to my text messages either. This could go on for weeks and so realizing in some cultures it's okay to swing by, I did. I had waited until about 10am to visit. After I knocked, there was no answer for about a minute. Man, was my drive in vain? Then I saw a light come on. "Thank you God."

The mother, wife, answered the door with a surprised look on her face. Duh, a bit of alarm for sure. Who is this little white man, in a very bright blue shirt knocking on my door. "Salam." About the only word I can offer off the top of my mind. And a smile. "Do you speak English?" "No Arabic." I'm thinking, need to be able to download Arabic into brain now.  "I'm sorry I don't know Arabic." Very helpful thing to say. I mentioned the group I was representing and that seemed to resonate with her. No one else was home.

I handed her the basket and gestured somehow to indicate I would like to introduce myself and described what I've brought. I stepped inside and we kept the door open. I pulled out my phone and accessed Google translate. We went through all of the items with that techno interpreter's pronunciations guiding our conversation. There was agreement. The Mrs. completely understood and had confidence as to what the items were. I used the universal drink this and you will die expression when showing her the bleach. I think she realized in that moment that I can be kind of a goofball, how to translate that Google?

Conversation got really confusing when I was trying to translate about my next visits. Ultimately you can't translate "I want to be your friend and will visit pretty regularly and help everyone however I can." I just have to do it. I gave up trying and just pointed to a number they could call if they needed immediate help. As I drove home, I realized my soul was glad. I now have a face I can think of in my prayers.

"Shukraan", thanks.