Refugee Driving Lesson - Watch out for the TREE!

Last week I was at the Syrian family's home. We were drinking Coke and having our English lesson when it culminated into a conversation about driving cars, go figure! R. the 23 year old cousin/niece in the family, really wants to learn to drive (what 23 yr. old doesn't want to drive right?), her eyes get really big in her excitement, she stares at me as if saying "Please say yes, please say yes" and I feel so good at the possibility of making this dream of hers a reality.

So yesterday I met with S. (the father) and R (his 23 year old niece) to give them a driving lesson.

It was a beautiful day in StL, blue skies, 70 degrees. We climbed into my car and I gave them a first things first tutorial: gas, brake, Park, Drive, Reverse, Neutral etc., seat belts please, adjust seat and mirrors, turn signals, look behind you before pulling out, turn blinker on, ease out.

As we drove, I pointed out street signs, Yield, One Way etc. they knew all of this, so they said. I drove the three of us to Tower Grove Park, perfect for this occasion, smooth roads, spacious lanes. (There was not a big, empty parking lot in the area.) The park was pretty busy with joggers and several fields full of people playing ultimate frisbee. S. had told me he drove years ago in Syria but that must have been at least 5 years ago because they were in a camp for 4 years. He's 45 yrs. old and I thought he should be first, set a good example.

S. drove for about 30 minutes inside the park. Fully in control but a bit scared, a little white knuckled. He did a good job, both hands on the wheel the entire time, and drove very slowly, which I appreciated. I think he was being cautious, people were staring at this VW Jetta creeping along, "what's wrong with these people" but, hey, I didn't have that sign on my car declaring: "Driving School in Progress Don't Stare".

He would be terrified on the normal streets and definitely expressed concern about the idea of parallel parking (who doesn't!) "Parallel parking, maybe for the next lesson", I said.

Then it was R's turn. She's a sweet gentle, young lady and she's never been behind the wheel of a car. She too was cautious and her gentleness showed towards the steering wheel.  She didn't want to use it. She slowly weaved back and forth across the park road at 5 m.p.h. for about 30 minutes. By "weaved back and forth" I mean she took up the whole road!

You have to imagine: a car literally weaving from one side of the street to the other at 5 m.p.h.! I had to intervene several times as I didn't think she was going to swerve away from the curb in time and thought on several occasions she would hit the trees on the edge of the street. I would say: "There's a tree, there's a tree, tree, tree, tree" and she kept the same expression the whole time and didn't move the wheel.

S. sat in back giving her detailed instruction, at times raising his voice, other times making a disgruntled ticking sound with his mouth, a very fatherly warning perhaps saying "be careful" or "oh God what have we begun". Several other cars didn't appreciate our speed and went racing by us, as if we were on a main thoroughfare instead of in a subdued park, but that's part of learning to drive.

After multiple times around the entire park, I thought she had done a good enough job for her first driving experience and I told her so. She's funny, she said in her broken English way "Who's good, my father or me?" I think she was saying who did a better job driving? Funny girl. We will do this again. I consider it a privilege to be giving them lessons. And not having hit the tree.

God is most glorified when I am most satisfied in Him.

That was a quote from John Piper.

Sometimes people want to reevaluate where they spend time and talents. Volunteering can be the first step for people to live out their interests in a new way, break the routine of their lives, focus on others instead of ourselves. The U.S has a rich history of generosity and volunteerism. I created this video as I present to groups encouraging volunteering. (Friendly Disclosure: salvation is by grace not by works : ))

"Na'am", Arabic for yes.

(Family names have been abbreviated for privacy purposes.)
During my previous visit, R. had spoken with her father, S., on the phone after I explained I would like to meet him but he hadn't responded to my texts/calls. She was the "appointment setter".  S. and the three year old, J., were the only two of this family of seven that I hadn't met. I was excited when S. answered the door. This meant, despite our language barriers, we had successfully set the right appointment time and everyone showed up! As I entered, I gestured to remove my shoes, but he shook his head and said "no, no, no" as if I didn't need to. So in order not to defy him, I kept my shoes on despite having done so other times. I handed him the wrapped present I had bought the family; the game Jenga built in family fun for the whole year and easy to play despite language barriers. They probably opened it later that evening and I imagine wondered about it.

We quickly determined that I didn't speak enough Arabic and he didn't speak enough English to make sense to each other so out came the cell phones and Google Translate. Over the course of the next hour I explained who I was, that I wanted to be their friend and help them in anyway I could. S's priority now seems to be learning English and he currently attends English classes in the mornings at the International Institute. I typed into Google that the Oasis also offers English classes but I'm pretty sure that did not do a fabulous translation job. He didn't understand. I'm meeting with a church this week that will provide me English language curriculum. I'm praying about tutoring the family for an hour during my visits (and having them teach me Arabic).

It's unclear what he does in the afternoons but he's never been there when I've visited in the afternoons. He seems to be interested in whatever type of work he can get and was not permitted to work in Turkey because of his Kurdish nationality and may have done some "agricultural" work in Syria.

He has an instructor's permit and currently takes the bus to the Institute. I had called the DMV and inquired about how he and R. could obtain their driver's licenses. "As long as their Instructor Permits are not expired, they take those, proof of residence, and their I9s to the DMV and need to pass the driving exam." Wow, sounds easy enough but a big responsibility. Do I teach them to drive using my car??? From my experience with other refugees, depending on the bus as the only mode of transportation can get really frustrating really fast because it takes double the time to get anywhere. When you're earning minimum wage, an hour commute each way is tough. We'll see, something to pray about.

At the end of our time together, he invited me back, this time for dinner in two weeks. "Nem, shakran. " (yes, thank you), I said. I felt honored. The whole family will be there. I'll bring more pictures of my family and St. Louis landmarks like the Arch and explain Cardinals baseball to them. And maybe we'll get to play Jenga together.